The Machete Cognetti Crime Wave, all in One Place

This winter, a brutal machete attack in Scranton shocked Northeast Pennsylvanians. Unfortunately, headlines like this have become all too common under Mayor Paige “Machete” Cognetti.

As the Cognetti crime wave spirals out of control, it can be hard to keep up with all of the headlines, so we went ahead and organized them into one place: machetecognetti.com.

If you’re visiting Scranton this spring or summer, stay safe and remember: according to Cognetti, the crime crisis isn’t a big deal because it’s not as bad as some other places!*

*Yet.

“Political opportunist Paige Cognetti’s soft-on-crime policies have put Scranton families in the crosshairs of a violent crime wave. Unfortunately for Pennsylvanians, Cognetti is too busy focusing on her personal vanity congressional campaign to care.” – NRCC Spokesman Reilly Richardson