7 Gift Ideas for Jay Carney on his Birthday

May 22, 2013

It’s White House Press Secretary Jay Carney’s birthday today. Here are seven gift ideas for Jay:

7. Dodgeball DVD – To help him remember his Five D’s: Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and Dodge:

6. Yak Bak – So he never has to worry about keeping his story straight:

5. Pinocchio – The administration’s favorite character.

4. 1984 – Lots of good tips for proper use of Orwellian Doublespeak:

3. Gingko Biloba – Helps fight memory loss. To be shared with friends in the Administration:

2. Mastering Communication at Work – To help the administration work on sharing information with the boss:

1. Time Magazine edition from May 2008 – As former Washington Bureau Chief of Time Magazine, Jay Carney could use this walk down memory lane to remember the days when he cared about uncovering the truth: